If I were to count how many times I use the word “just” in one day I might lose track. I use it a lot because it’s one of those staple words in my dictionary. The one time I don’t use this word, though, is when describing being a parent. For example, you are so much more than “just” a mom.
Take a second and say that out loud to yourself. Let’s take it a step further, there’s no such thing as “just” a mom! Whether we’ve believed it about ourselves or someone said it about us, the words sting and are untrue. They take away value and undermine who we are so it’s time to stop that.
I’m talking to you, lovely mama. Whether you stay at home with your kids, work outside of your home, work from home, or whatever else, your role is significant and you are irreplaceable. It doesn’t matter if your kiddos are toddlers, teenagers, or adults now. You were created for a beautiful purpose! Most likely, we will all probably have moments we don’t feel this, but the truth still stands so let’s remind each other of it.
We were given these gifts called children to raise and love. We are raising humans! We are raising boys to become men. We are raising girls to become women. Our sons could become someone’s husband and our daughters could become someone’s wife. Just as we were brought up by our parents or guardians, we are now doing that same thing with our little loves. That’s a really BIG deal so there’s nothing “just” about this.
I promise I’m not placing undue pressure on anyone to raise their kiddos perfectly. Needless to say, that would be impossible. There are helpful parenting guidebooks (I’m actually reading one currently), but I know a lot of this parenting thing is trial and error. You know those face-palm moments and looking forward to a new day. Overall, we invest so much love and energy into our roles so what we do and who we are as mamas (of course, dads too!) is significant and special.
Think about it this way – doctors are important people so you probably wouldn’t hear one say, “Oh I’m just a doctor.” No way! They save lives and help people daily. Having good, trustworthy doctors around is a blessing and most of them realize their worth. Mamas, you are crucial to your family and to society. Don’t feel like you’re being arrogant by realizing your worth as a mom and stepping confidently into it. This world needs great and loving mamas who are invested.
I’ve noticed a trend in society and maybe others have, too. It seems as though society puts so much pressure on moms to do it all and “juggle all the things” 24/7. Because if you’re not super worn out and exhausted by life day in and day out, then that might mean you’re “just” a mom and complacent.
I’ve tried keeping with a pace I didn’t want or need and it was exhausting! I was living up to expectations I placed on myself that shouldn’t have been. There is a big difference between being stuck and complacent and being content with your life. I’m a true believer that you can still have goals and dreams AND be content.
You should not feel like you must give in to pressure to add one more thing to your life if it is only to keep up with the next mom you see on social media or the super mom you hear about around town. I understand there are circumstances where mamas have to take on more, but if it’s only to keep up with society’s unrealistic pace then check in with yourself. Are you adding something into your life that you really want to be there? Is this something that brings value?
Why I emphasize this is because if you’re worn out all the time keeping up with unrealistic expectations, then it will be impossible to give 100% to everyone and everything that truly matters to you. You cannot pour from an empty cup, so tune in to yourself and take care of you as well. Your health and soul-care are vital to a full life!
So I hope you choose what brings you joy and makes you feel most alive! Whether that’s omitting some things from your life or starting something new, life is too short to be living out someone else’s dream or keeping up with a pace that doesn’t feel true to you. Next time you think you’re “just” a mom or hear someone say it about themselves, I want you to negate that lie, smash it, and hold tight to your worth.